Confessions of Aunty Anu

#7 Things I Learnt From My Two Gen Alpha Besties.

Officially an aunty since February 2012, my life changed the moment my niece Juhi entered it – and even more so when my second niece, Jiya, came into my world. They made me grow up in an instant and at the same time, took me back to my childhood. While I may have taught them many things about life, the fact is, the two of them have taught me lots too. 

In honour of National Aunt and Uncle’s Day yesterday (July 26), here are the top 7 lessons I’ve learned from my two Gen Alpha besties, J & J.

#1. I always had maternal instincts; I was just waiting for a baby girl to push that ON button.
I started taking care of Juhi when she was 3 months old. I admit, I was scared at first. She was doing things well beyond her age range, and I had to learn to figure out her growth spurt as the days passed. But somewhere between 3 months and a year, I found the confidence to care for her on my own. Sure, she fell off the bed once or twice (are you judging me now?)

Then there was the time when she refused to open her eyes – one of my most nerve-wrecking moments for sure. But now, she’s as tall as me, full of energy, and is my unofficial Gen Alpha slang tutor, so I guess it all turned out ok, didn’t it? 

#2. Go for what you want – even if it’s a Chow Chow.
My roommate for many years was joyful Jiya. Our unqualified aunty-niece sleep programme included nightly doses of sleepy stories and soft music. Then one day, I started showing her videos of cute, fluffy dogs – and she got hooked. As she grew older, she began asking specifically for doggie videos, and I’d always show her Chow Chows, because I liked them.

The years passed by like days. And soon, when I casually said, “I wish I could have a Chow Chow,” she would say, “You should get one!” – full of enthusiasm and confidence that I would be a great Chow Chow mom. It made me realise something – kids reach for what they want without overthinking. Whether it’s a teddy, a toy dog, or their favourite aunty to carry them, they just go for it. The one thing I’ve re-learned from Jiya? If you like something, go for it!

#3. Wheyayoh vs. Dada – Nicknames are serious business.
As their mom’s elder sister, my nieces officially call me Valiamma (pronounced Veh-lee-um-ma), which means Elder Mother — or as I like to put it, Big Mama – in Malayalam, my mother tongue and a language from South India. Not an easy word to say for toddlers sure, but what they ended up calling me is another story altogether.

Niece No 1, Juhi used to hear my mom calling out “Where are you?” to get my attention. Little Miss Juhi heard it so often, she decided that must be my name and started calling me Wheyayoh. This went on for quite a few years, slowly transitioning to Veh-mah before finally graduating full force to Valiamma.

When it came to Niece No 2, Jiya, she heard my full name, Anuradha being called out. She probably liked the second and third parts of my name better than the first. But “Ra” was a bit tricky for her to pronounce and so she replaced it with a “Da” and started calling me Dada. Now at 10, she switches between Dada and Valiamma, and every time she does, it reminds me of her 3-year-old self, cutie pie self.    

#4. It’s always good to know you inspire them.
When she was five, Juhi said she wanted to be a writer – just like me. It was one of the best things I’d ever heard. Of course, she has no interest in writing now, but still, it was lovely while it lasted. And it reminds me that you never really know when you can inspire someone.  

#5. Stories? I got a few.
After a long day at work, I would often try to get Jiya to wind down by watching some fun stories on YouTube and hoping she would fall asleep. Initially, she would go along with the plan, but as she grew, she got smarter. She started asking for a story, and when I would look for a video, she would stop me and say, “No, use your voice.”

And that was the start of my impromptu storytelling days, coming up with stories around the chosen animal or character she was into. It was then that I realised I was quite the storyteller. I only needed a tiny, curly-haired toddler to bring it out. 

#6. If you’re proud of someone, say it loud.
Sometimes, kids are your best teachers.  As a GenXer from an Asian household, I didn’t grow up getting kudos for things well done, so I wasn’t used to saying it myself either.  One day, for a reason I can’t remember now, Jiya looked at me and said, “I’m proud of you, Dada”. That simple sentence went straight to my heart. In that moment, I promised myself: if an 8-year-old could express something so kind and genuine, then so could I.

#7. Style matters – no matter how old you are.
During my last trip to Canberra in September 2024, my clothes shopping haul was scrutinised by fashionista Juhi. Feedback was fast and furious – a scrunched-up face meant she hated it, a nod of approval if she liked it. Other notable comments include “This one looks good…for your age.” Ouch! I can imagine her feedback once I’m in my 50s! Well, with nieces like her, I’ll always be slaying (as she loves saying)! 

Out of all the jobs I’ve had in my life, being an aunt has been the most rewarding one. Juhi and Jiya have taught me so much about myself, helped me relearn a few forgotten lessons, and reminded me to stay young at heart. Watching them grow up and growing alongside them is an experience I will always treasure.

Happy Aunty and Uncle’s Day to all aunts and uncles out there!